Monday, July 21, 2008

Mac vs PC Ads now showing in Kenyan Movie Theatres

So a local skunker watched "Wanted" over the weekend and comments about his surprise to see a Mac vs PC ad boldly screened during the commercials before the main feature.

It looks like Apple is taking this battle to the fore - and placing alternatives in front of the public - go Apple go!

Monday, July 07, 2008

ONLY Kenyans.....hahaha!

1. Are engaged for 5 years or more
2. Never bother to divorce, they just separate
3. Are late to church, work, and everything else EXCEPT when the disco is free before 9pm
4. Refer to diabetes as 'SUGAR'
5. Show up at weddings, showers, graduation, birthday parties with a new outfit on with nails and hair done but no gift
6. In relation to #5, they eat like parking boys and take a plate home
7. Consider 'clubbing' or 'henging' as a monthly expense
8. Leave bills (instead of insurance money) behind for surviving relatives.
10. have mothers who can use curse words and religion ALL IN ONE SENTENCE e.g. "Lord, give me strength because I'm about to knock the hell out of this kumbaff child"

11. spend the car insurance money on everything EXCEPT getting the dent fixed.
12. invite co-workers and all of their friends to their child's 1st birthday party which happens to have a professional DJ with only about 3 kids (including the child) in attendance. And then expect the guests to "changa" for the bash.
13. Start every sentence with "Me I..." e.g. "ME I donno why you are saying that I always say 'Me I'.
14. Say 'Spend' when they are staying the night elsewhere from home, e.g. "Are you going to spend at her place?"
15. Put in iron rods in all windows and main doors...referring to them as ''Burglar proof''
16. Use "Ngai" as an exclamation mark e.g. "Ngai, what are you doing?"
17. Believe "Ati" is an English word for "What?" ati what?
18. Think it is cool to drink and drive and get away with it "I don't know how I got home that day..the way I was soo drunk!"
19. Think all their economic and social problems are caused by "Moi" when in fact some have never been to school.
20. Pack up all their earthly goods to go to "shaggs" for a week in December, only to pack them all back again after that one week and return to "Tao"
21. Call travelling "flying out" e.g .. She flew out (no one ever seems to wonder where all these Kenyans fly to)
22. Think that taking a clerical job in a company is better and "cooler" than toiling in their parents' family business.
23. Prefer washing cars and dishes in USA to toiling in their 20-acre tea farms in Kenya .
24. Call their homes "at ours". e.g., "At ours, we eat Githeri every day"
25. Complain for five years about poor governance and corruption then vote in the same clowns back to parliament.
26. Have a chief Justice who has no law degree!
27. Go on strike for one day and expect the govt. to resign!
28. Sit back in their homes and expect their MP to "bring Development"
29. Refuse to insure against anything and expect you to bankroll them when calamity strikes... thro' Harambee.
30. Sit calmly and sometimes cheer as a mad man drives them in a ramshackle(MATATUS) at breakneck speed to certain death.
31. Drive with their windows wound up when they get to city centre because of 4-year-old brats armed with human feaces, and still claim to be free people!

Sounds so true, eh? I hope you are still Kenyan by All standards!

Me, I am Kenyan Damu, osa vinya!!

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Swing Blues

My golf swing has jammed, refused, kwama'd, kataa'd - basically I'm struggling with my game. No amount of playing rounds and rounds of golf seems to help ... well, that's not entirely true, there has been a slight improvement over the past couple weeks, but still nowhere near the game I want to play, oh sorry, the game I *know* I can play.

Maybe I need to follow the footsteps or my arch-foe and favorite playing buddy, Mambo. He had his swing 'rebuilt' after a couple visits with Zacks, the teaching pro at Golf Park - and then did lots and lots of practice. Within less than a month he is winning competitions every week and has dropped four strokes off his handicap. Needless to say his 'new' swing was a good investment (he has his hand in my pocket almost every time I have a match and bet against him). So, do I have the patience and discipline to take the time to see a teaching pro?

You bet I have! There's no way I can carry on like this. Nowadays when I stand on the tee I am so full of uncertainty because basically I don't know what's going to happen next. Last week on one hole i hit a beatiful drive with a gentle draw 270 yards out to the middle of the fairway and finished with par. On the next hole I duck-hooked into some vicious bush and finished with 3-over-par - arrggh. This kind of inconsistency wreaks havoc on one's game. So I guess I'll have to take my medicine and see the pro after all.....